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Exploring and discussing a variety of relationship topics and issues for people in all kinds of relationships; including partnerships, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, roommates and more.

Nov 3, 2020

Dr. Chris Mulchay is an ADHD expert and licensed psychologist in North Carolina and Hawaii. Chris is a kind, down-to-earth colleague and officemate with whom I enjoy having great conversations. His practice focuses on assessing ADHD, learning disorders, and custodial evaluations and is dedicated to making evaluations engaging, thoughtful, and efficient. In addition to his practice, Chris also serves as president for the Western North Carolina Psychological Association and is a board member of the International Council of Psychologists. A lifelong student, Chris is a staunch advocate of community change through fostering stability, creativity, and empowerment.

In this episode, Chris and I explore how ADHD can impact relationships. We contemplate on ADHD as a self-regulation and neurodevelopmental disorder. We describe how subtle brain injuries and parents in conflict can interfere with a child’s brain development and influence the emergence of ADHD. We also discuss how transforming a relationship includes identifying how ADHD operates in them and explain how couples can practice appreciation to support lasting behavior change.


“The ADHD brain has a limited working memory, but if that’s supported with appreciation and joy, your partner will be able to practice behavioral change that could lead to self-regulation.” - Dr. Chris Mulchay


This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

  • What ADHD is and how it’s different from ADD
  • The difference between the inattentive and hyperactive type of ADHD
  • Making people comfortable with conversations around ADHD
  • ADHD as a neurodevelopmental issue and whether we can develop it as adults
  • Genetic markers and subtle brain injuries that could impact ADHD
  • How parents in extreme stress and conflict can affect a child’s brain development
  • The over diagnosis and overmedication of ADHD
  • How ADHD medication can assist in creating behavioral change
  • ADHD and challenges in peer relationships that could later lead to substance abuse
  • Thinking about ADHD as a spectrum and self-regulation disorder
  • The lack of inhibition in the ADHD brain and how it can impact communication
  • Why it can be challenging for people with ADHD to hold conversations
  • Squirrel syndrome and the relationship between ADHD and the brain’s working memory
  • How ADHD can interfere with emotional intimacy in relationships
  • Improving working memory through sleep hygiene
  • The power of mindfulness and meditation in strengthening self-regulation
  • What couples can do to work around having ADHD in their relationship
  • Bringing the power of appreciation and joy into creating lasting behavioral changes


Resources Mentioned:


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Let’s Talk About It!


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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk