Relationships Let's Talk About It!: 129. Rebuilding Trust In Your Relationship After Betrayal

129. Rebuilding Trust In Your Relationship After Betrayal

Feb 2, 2021

Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powerful force that it completely changes a relationship - but through work, transparency, and the willingness to own up to vulnerabilities, couples may be able to reconcile and begin their relationship anew.

In this episode, Jennifer and I explore the different aspects of betrayal in relationships. We highlight the difference between privacy and secrecy and explain how the latter can become destructive to a relationship. We discuss whether the cheated person should ask detailed questions about an affair. We also underscore the role of transparency and vulnerability in healing and reconciliation after a betrayal and emphasize the importance of supporting each other’s growth in a relationship.

“Infidelity is a tsunami - it completely changes the landscape of a relationship. Rebuilding is a definite process that involves responsibility and remorse, and transparency.” - Jennifer Lehr

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

The slippery slope of emotional infidelity
The many forms of betrayal
Creating safety and trust in long-term relationships
Taking ownership of infidelity and how defensiveness makes betrayal challenging to heal
The difference between privacy versus secrecy and their relationship to trust
The importance of cultivating reliability
The need for transparency after infidelity
Why it takes so long to rebuild trust after a betrayal
Grieving and mourning a relationship after an affair
Working through patterns and histories of cheating
Being a grown-up and aligning with our integrity
How secrecy can be a form of control and manipulation
Jennifer’s philosophy of reconciliation and rebuilding trust after infidelity
Accepting remorse and how it’s different from forgiveness
Influencing the precipitating factors of infidelity
The role of a couple’s therapist in rebuilding trust in relationships
How defensiveness creates a break in the progress of healing
The reason power and control moves are a form of betrayal

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Let’s Talk About It!

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk