Jul 9, 2019
Are you guilty of holding grudges? Let’s face it - holding grudges is a common practice for most of us, but it can be detrimental to your relationships as well as your health. Over time, grudges can easily transform into anger, resentment, high stress levels, and even depression. This resentment is often what causes many relationships to end.
So how do we deal with and move past the grudges we may have against others to begin the process of healing and moving forward?
On today’s episode, I discuss how holding a grudge can impact your relationships. I share my personal experiences of dealing with grudges and how holding grudges can impact the people around you. I explain the physiological process involved in holding onto anger and resentment and how holding onto long-term grudges can impact your health. I also share the common personality characteristics of people who frequently hold grudges and share strategies you can use to help yourself and your partner move past grudges for a healthier relationship.
“Resentment is actually the feeling of the act of holding a grudge.” - Pripo Teplitsky
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- The impact that holding grudges can have on your relationships.
- My experiences of growing up with a family that held grudges.
- How modeling grudges in your family and intimate relationships can affect children and their ability to deal with conflict.
- The importance of teaching and modeling remorse and good conflict resolution strategies.
- The physiological process involved in feeling resentful.
- How holding grudges affects your health.
- Common personality traits and characteristics of people who frequently hold grudges.
- Why grudges often lead to feelings of anger and higher levels of stress.
- How holding a grudge affects more than just you and the person who has wronged you.
- The story of my father holding a grudge against my mother and stepfather and how it made me feel.
- The importance of developing communication and conflict resolution skills to help you work through and let go of grudges and resentment.
- How apologizing and showing remorse can help grudge holders move forward and heal to improve their relationship.
- How negative past experiences can sometimes lead to transferred feelings and emotions that are causing a grudge.
- Identifying when to give your partner space, how much space they need, and when to let go of the relationship.
- How forgiveness helps grudge holders let go and move forward.
- How to begin the forgiveness process.
Resources Mentioned:
- Holding a Grudge Is Bad For You, And Here Are The Ways It Can Actually Weigh You Down and Affect Your Health by Emma Cueto
- The Unburdening Effects of Forgiveness: Effects on Slant Perception and Jumping Height - Study by Erasmus University, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science
- The Art of Listening
- Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
- The Art of Apology
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk
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