Jan 14, 2020
Thomas Doochin firmly believes in humanity’s story of love and interconnectedness. This great faith in humanity led him and his peers at the University of North Carolina to co-create Daymaker at the young age of 19. Through connecting employees to their communities, Daymaker is a company that helps people realize their intrinsic goodness and generosity. But to Thomas, Daymaker is more than a business; it is a living mentor that continues to teach him what generosity means.
In today’s episode, Thomas and I contemplate on generosity and how we bring it into our closest relationships. We explain why, while we’re generous to most people, we’re sometimes least generous to the people closest to us. We describe the shame that comes when we realize that we’re not being generous. We illustrate how self-care, self-compassion, and self-appreciation all help to bring out our authentic, generous selves. We also share, from our personal lives, the tendency to withhold generosity from our romantic partners and how we manage to bring it back.
“We have the space to be more of ourselves anywhere in a relationship. Our innate quality is good and graciousness, and love.” - Thomas Doochin
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- How Thomas has become more generous through intentional practice
- Why generosity is a muscle that could be practiced
- The parts of the brain responsible for generosity
- How Thomas realized that he was not being generous in his romantic relationship
- The shame that comes with realizing our lack of generosity and inauthenticity
- Why our closest relationships receive the least generous part of ourselves
- How intention and mindfulness can bring generosity to relationships
- The effects of emotional maturity in relationships
- How emotional self-care and regulation creates generosity
- Why obligations and expectations stop us from being our authentic selves
- Using the idea of death to create generosity and compassion
- The power of self-appreciation and self-compassion
- The right way to accept an apology and how acceptance heals relationships
Resources Mentioned:
Connect with Thomas Doochin:
- Daymaker
- Daymaker on Facebook
- Daymaker on Twitter
- Daymaker on Instagram
- Thomas Doochin on Twitter
- Thomas Doochin on LinkedIn
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk