Sep 15, 2020
Life isn’t fair. So, it’s only natural for us to want things to be just. We do our best to create fairness in different areas of our lives: in the economy, in opportunity, and even in our relationships. In our shared life with our partners, we want things to be 50/50, to be equitable. I am a staunch advocate of cultivating balance, but seeking fairness in relationships is different, and attachment to the idea can negatively impact a couple and their connection.
In this episode, I explore why we attach to the idea of fairness and explain how it can be detrimental to our relationships. I share some of my experiences with wanting things to be fair and recount the story of a couple who worked through the idea of equality in their relationship. I differentiate seeking balance against seeking equity in relationships and why keeping scores can lead us to getting stuck. I also discuss how the power of appreciation and curiosity can help us overcome our attachment to fairness and find balance in the relationship.
“If you’re willing to let go of what is fair and instead focus on what’s loving, you’ll discover connection, understanding, and transformation.” - Pripo Teplitsky
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk