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Exploring and discussing a variety of relationship topics and issues for people in all kinds of relationships; including partnerships, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, roommates and more.

Oct 23, 2018

R010 Non-Violent Communication


Steve Torma is the co-founder of The REAL Center, an organization that has been committed to encouraging compassionate relationships since 2007. He is the former President of Earthaven Ecovillage in Black Mountain, NC, and was a core faculty member for The Asheville Tantra  School. He has established a thirty-year career of helping countless people find healing, direction, and meaning in their lives through his mastery of Non-Violent Communication (NVC), Radical Honesty, Body Electric, Cuddle  Party, Restorative Circles, Permaculture, and Creation Spirituality.  


Steve joins me today to discuss non-violent communications and how being in sync with our feelings can help us better understand our needs and gain insight on why we make the decisions we make. He explains how our relationships are affected by how well - or how poorly - we know our own feelings, particularly in the way we translate our thoughts into words. He also briefly touches on the four gateway feelings in his line of work — anger, depression, shame, and guilt — and what each of those things really means for the individual.


“Thoughts are obviously important, but to be able to communicate what’s in your body — that kind of aliveness is one of the main things that creates connection.’” - Steve Torma


This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:


  • Learning how to feel exactly what is going on with your body.
  • The profound difference between thinking and feeling.
  • Having a solid emotional vocabulary.
  • Starting with feeling awareness, and realizing that feelings give us important information.
  • Understanding why we make the choices we make — why we feel what we feel.
  • Distinguishing between needs and wants by learning how to feel one’s needs.
  • How — and why — the foundation of a dysfunctional relationship is not knowing your partner’s needs.
  • How to effectively train people to be more attuned to their feelings.
  • The definition of self-directed neuroplasticity: Why it is possible for people to change.
  • Why pain is NOT suffering.
  • The four parts of the training process for non-violent communications.
  • Creating a connection between two people through the verbalization of feelings.
  • The significance and power of acknowledging what and how we are feeling.
  • The value of understanding the thoughts behind your anger. 
  • The meaning of feeling a “sweet pain.”
  • Understanding the basic principle of NVC.
  • Healing shame by realizing its roots.
  • Seeing through the eyes of compassion.
  • The truth behind how nature designed us, with regard to stress.


Connect with Steve Torma:



Join Us for The Power of Appreciation Workshop


Join Pripo and his wife, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky, on Sunday, November 11, 2018, in Asheville, NC to learn the secrets of unlocking the Power of Appreciation in your relationships. Genuine appreciation, regardless of how simple or profound, has been proven to bring an immediate shift in the quality and closeness of loving relationships. The Power of Appreciation Workshop will teach you the necessary skills and fundamental process of enriching your relationship with your partner, deepening the connection, and enhancing the flow of positive.


To learn more about The Power of Appreciation Workshop, and to register, visit HeartShare Counseling & Consulting PC or call (828) 712-8398.


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Schedule your first appointment by visiting or call (828) 348-5372. 


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Let’s Talk About It!


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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk


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