Oct 27, 2020
It’s natural for us to want to care for the people we love and make them happy. Many of us are also naturally compassionate and find fulfillment in altruistic endeavors. But there is a fine line between being selfless and being a people-pleaser. It’s essential that we discern whether our proclivities towards catering to others’ needs come from an authentic desire to help or from a place of fear and insecurity.
In this episode, I discuss the vital role of compassion in realizing our tendency to be people-pleasers and in transforming ourselves and our relationships. I illustrate how insecurity, fears, and low self-worth can foster the people-pleasing pattern and underscore the dangers of being a people-pleaser. I explain why honesty is one of the greatest gifts we can give to other people and how we can weave kindness into it. I also reveal how we can overcome our people-pleasing tendencies through setting boundaries and being true to our needs.
“When we constantly strive to please, it’s unlikely that we’ll thrive in relationships because we start to feel invisible, even though we’re the ones creating the experience.” - Pripo Teplitsky
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- The relationship between codependency and people-pleasing
- The role of compassion in the process of self-transformation
- How a compassionate person differs from a people-pleaser
- The fear of rejection and other factors that influence the people-pleasing pattern
- Why people-pleasers find it difficult to set healthy boundaries
- Conflict avoidance and how authenticity took me out of a people-pleasing episode
- The connection between people-pleasing and manipulation
- Bringing kindness into honesty and how it can benefit our relationships
- The value of focusing on curiosity when interacting with people
- Why I think history may have caused women and mothers to people-please more
- How people-pleasers may attract controlling people
- Losing autonomy and a sense of self to people-pleasing
- Why people-pleasing can also be selfish
- How parents can model authenticity for their children
- What it takes to overcome our people-pleasing patterns
Related Content:
- Guided Audio Meditations
- Setting Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty
- Codependency
- Authentic Relating
- A journey with A Dying Parent
Let’s Talk About It!
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