May 19, 2020
If there’s another big contagion going around, it’s blame. Its infectious nature is so profound that it goes back and forth between a couple, trapping them in a cycle of criticism, pain, and disempowerment. No one wins in a relationship that plays the blame game - it has no positive impact on any of the parties involved. It’s sometimes difficult for people to see themselves tethered with the chains of blame, but to be able to co-create a relationship, one must rise to the challenge of letting go of blame and criticism.
In this episode, I discuss how blame erodes a relationship’s creative potential and how to overcome it. I illustrate blame and criticism’s addictive nature and describe the physiological stimuli we feel when we attack or blame another person. I discuss how chronic blaming could destroy your partner’s self-esteem and self-worth and how it could set you up for an unhealthy relationship in the future. I also share how we learn to blame another person through our parents as well as highlight how we can foster an environment where our children can learn responsibility instead of criticism.
“Blame is an endless loop. The antidote is curiosity, connection, appreciation, and responsibility.” - Pripo Teplitsky
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- What blame is, how it fuels anger, and how it’s based on a relationship’s inequality
- Blame as a defense mechanism to avoid responsibility
- How blame hurts our partners and erodes the relationship
- The addictive nature of blaming and criticism
- How chronic blaming can be a form of emotional abuse and lead to low self-esteem
- The vicious cycle of blame
- How we learned to blame other people and how we can teach our children to be more responsible
- The importance of learning the difference between blame and responsibility
- How taking responsibility impacts our relationships
- The role of honesty in taking responsibility
Related Content:
- The Art of Apology
- Taking Responsibility In Your Relationship
- Curiosity Can Improve Your Relationships
- Pandemic Series: Intentions: Setting The Tone Of Your Relationships
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk