Nov 13, 2018
When was the last time you said ‘I’m sorry’ and truly meant it? It is often easy to say the words, but to truly feel sorry - to be vulnerable, take accountability, and try to change a bad behavior or habit - it can often prove more difficult. We tend to say ‘I am sorry’ when we feel embarrassed about mistakes or trying to appease another person.
The art of apologizing is a critical skill we must learn in order tobuild deep, meaningful relationship with those around us. And while we often try to avoid conflict in our day-to-day lives - especially with those closest to us - it’s important to remember that it is through conflict and differences that we learn, grow, and improve ourselves and our relationships.
On today’s episode, I discuss the art of apologizing and why it is critical for deepening your relationships. I explain why conflict is necessary for self-growth and understanding and the connection between self-compassion, accountability, and a sincere apology. I also explain how a sincere apology can impact the healing process following a hurtful event, why it’s okay to take time to truly feel sorry before apologizing, and how it can often lead to acceptance and forgiveness.
“One of the greatest gifts of exploring apologies is the lesson of humility.” - Pripo Teplitsky
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- The importance of only apologizing when you truly feel sorry.
- How to handle situations when you’re not ready to apologize.
- The importance of taking time to digest and understand your partner’s perspective in a hurtful situation.
- Why it is often difficult to take accountability for hurting others.
- The connection between self-compassion, accountability, and a true apology.
- The difference between feeling remorse and feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
- What is required before true forgiveness can occur?
- How apologizing can impact your relationships with your
- How apologizing can help heal wounds and build bridges in estranged family relationships.
- The importance of empathizing with how the other person feels.
- The importance of expressing your regrets when apologizing.
- Identifying strategies for changing poor behavior or habits.
- Examples of effective, heartfelt apologies.
- Setting realistic expectations when apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
- The difference between accepting an apology and true forgiveness.
- The importance of always accepting an apology - even if you can’t forgive the behavior.
- Expressing the qualities you seek in an apology with your spouse or partner.
- How sincere apologies can impact the healing process.
- The impact that accountability and apologizing have had in political disputes.
- The importance of apologizing even when you don’t feel accountable, wrong, or that you’ve intentionally hurt the other person.
- Exercises to help you improve your apologizing skill to deepen your relationships and begin the healing process.
Resources Mentioned:
- The Healing of America by Marianne Williamson
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
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Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk
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