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Exploring and discussing a variety of relationship topics and issues for people in all kinds of relationships; including partnerships, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, roommates and more.

May 28, 2019

Research shows that on average, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. Ever wonder how many of those thoughts help us - and how many actually destroy us? Our inner critic serves the important purpose of being our protector, but what happens when we listen to it too much and allow it to take control of us?

And more importantly, how do we break out of that mindset when that happens?


Today, I share my thoughts on how to transform your inner critic and the way you think about it. I discuss our conscious and subconscious thoughts, and how our inner critic becomes deeply ingrained in us over the years. I share how our inner critic prevents us and our partners from seeing and appreciating our best selves, discuss the impact of our inner critic on our behavior and emotions, and explain how we can develop a belief system that counteracts that. I also share my own experiences with my inner critic and some exercises you can use to help you get over yours.


“Our inner critics are terrified that we’re going to be hurt - and it wants to protect us.” - Pripo Teplitsky


This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:


  • The primary function of our inner critic.
  • How our inner critic is shaped from childhood and how it is deeply ingrained in us as adults.
  • The danger of relying on your partner constantly to compensate for your inner critic.
  • How our inner critic sabotages us by convincing us that we’re not worthy of love.
  • Having our inner critic work for us by giving it “another job description.”
  • How a massage experience reflected my own struggle with my inner critic.
  • A simple exercise that involves writing to your inner critic with your non-dominant hand.
  • How to develop a belief system that outweighs your inner critic.
  • The inner critic manifesting through comparison, especially in sports.
  • The world as a giant puzzle and embracing the fact that we are pieces of it.
  • The various obstacles with my own self-esteem and how I handled these obstacles.
  • The most challenging exercise a human being can do.
  • How accepting our own flawed areas can help us accept and appreciate others as well.
  • The negative ways our inner critic manifests through our personality and how it buffers us from our own feelings.
  • An exercise involving asking ourselves where and how we can bring kindness and compassion to both ourselves and to our partners.
  • The right way to approach making - and learning from - mistakes.
  • Positive efficacy and going through memories of experiences that you’ve moved through challenges.
  • Why the inner critic should not be calling the shots - and who should be doing that, instead.


Let’s Talk About It!


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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk



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