Oct 6, 2020
Adley Gartenstein is the former president and co-owner of Film Movement, a distributor of independent, award-winning films from around the world. Over the last two decades, Adley has been a counselor, trainer, and workshop leader in the co-counseling community. My friendship with Adley goes back to 25 years ago when we met at the Esalen Institute. Since then, we’ve formed a friendship so profound that he has become the godfather of my son, Zander.
In this episode, Adley and I discuss his journey with healing as he took care of his dying mother. We explore how he had assumed the role of caretaker for his mother since he was a child and describe how that impacted his sense of self-worth. We illustrate how Adley committed to becoming a great son, regardless of his mother’s shortcomings as a parent. We also discuss my experience with my father’s death and underscore the honor that comes with being present in a person’s final moments on Earth.
“Being around a dying person is, in a way, a transition into adulthood; to play that role of caretaker, to make it about somebody else, and to care about that person.” - Adley Gartenstein
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- Assuming the role of caretaker for his mother from childhood
- How feeling responsibility for his mother’s well being affected Adley’s self-compass
- Claiming Adley’s right to be a great son, regardless of childhood experiences
- Understanding how trauma gets passed down through generations
- The beginnings of Adley’s journey into healing
- My experience with the death of my father
- Deciding not to be the victim of one’s circumstances and breaking the cycle of darkness and trauma
- The power of spending time with a dying person and the lessons it can teach us
- Feeling liberation from trauma and fulfillment of duty
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk