Jun 4, 2019
Vijay Director has provided coaching and consultation services for over 25 years and across a broad spectrum of specialized areas. From relationships and intimacy to sports performance, meditation, and business, he has had extensive experience in supporting men in need of guidance and emotional reassurance. An entrepreneur in the fields of natural living, therapy, as well as arts, health, and spirituality, Vijay also runs a non-denomination, non-profit learning center and has led support groups for men for three decades. Additionally, he is currently on the cusp of completing his first book.
Vijay joins me today to discuss the need for women to understand men’s shame and feeling of inadequacy. We discuss the need for affirmative acknowledgment and appreciation as well as non-sexual physical contact as affirmation of love and support. We share our thoughts on the challenges that men face, particularly with regard to anger and healthy masculinity. We also discuss men’s need for softness in complaints, as opposed to harsh criticism.
“Men are looking to be in relationships and be in spaces where they can avoid shame or have that shame healed in some ways.” - Vijay Director
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- Vijay’s perspective on the most important thing that men are looking for in their relationships.
- The varying physical needs of men, especially in different age groups.
- The “touch-starved” and “touch-phobic” culture of men and how touch is misinterpreted and underestimated as a result.
- The complexities, pre-requisites, and challenges involved in sexual intimacy.
- The comedic notion of men as “bears with furniture,” and the grain of truth behind it.
- The nine ways anger comes out sideways and the physical ways it manifests in men.
- The societal pressure that leads men to express sadness as anger.
- How men can gently invite women to be with their sadness.
- The reality behind men’s feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
- Balancing the roles of men and women in society and what men and women are asking from each other in modern-day relationships.
- The definition of “owning the masculine,” and how men’s need for direct answers can lead to complications.
- Resistance as a kneejerk response to change and why it takes time for men to determine how they really feel about it.
- How a sudden surge of long-distance heartbreak led Vijay to an unexpected realization and ecstasy.
- Insights on what happens to men whose needs grow with their relationships.
Resources Mentioned:
- Courting a Woman’s Soul by John Lee
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk
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