Jun 23, 2020
“It is better to give than to receive.” That’s an adage we’ve all been taught. While giving is indeed a gracious act, we’re not taught how to receive it - which is equally noble. To fully experience, appreciate, and receive kindness is a gift we give back to the giver. Yet, we sometimes struggle to accept gestures of kindness and, in this struggle, we even think that we’re not worthy of generosity. But no matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you did, you are worthy of receiving kindness.
In this episode, I discuss the difficulties we face in receiving acts of kindness, help, and generosity. I illustrate the vulnerability that comes with accepting a gesture of kindness and how we tend to negate appreciation by pointing out our flaws. I describe how I recently struggled with fully experiencing kindness from my son and share my observations of couples who have difficulties accepting appreciation. I also explain how some characteristics, like perfectionism and self-doubt, can hinder us from receiving kindness and gifts from our loved ones as well as share my advice on how you can practice receiving kindness.
“It doesn’t matter what your history is. Down to your core as a human being, you are worthy to receive kindness.” - Pripo Teplitsky
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- Why and how we tend to deflect or avoid receiving gestures of kindness and appreciation
- What it feels like when your kindness and gifts aren’t well-received
- The vulnerability that comes with accepting a gesture of kindness
- Why we need to liberate ourselves from the feeling of obligation when receiving gifts
- Receiving appreciation by taking in deep breaths
- My recent struggle with receiving an act of kindness from my son
- How fully receiving and appreciating a gift or kind gesture is a gift to the giver
- Examples of verbal responses to gifts and kindness and how to practice them
- How perfectionism and control issues can prevent a person from fully receiving an act of kindness
- The self-doubt that impedes us from accepting appreciation and how all humans are worthy of kindness
- How the inability to receive kindness can handicap a relationship
- Reframing our responses to kindness and focusing on the giver’s intent
Related Content:
- The Power of Appreciation
- Generosity: Contemplating How We Show Up in Our Relationships
- What Is a Generous Conversation
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk