Nov 24, 2020
Once a person recognizes codependent patterns in their relationships, the next important step is to learn how to overcome them. Our friendships can be a source of good modeling and influence our journey through healing codependency in our lives. My friend, Corey Costanzo, is one such friend who encourages my positivity in the world. He is a licensed addictions counselor, bodywork therapist, and somatic experiencing practitioner who owns Still Point Wellness, the premier Esalen Massage and Salt Water Floatation spa in Asheville, North Carolina. Through the years, Corey and I have worn many hats together: as colleagues who consult with one another and as fathers who celebrate each other’s parenting. Ours is a friendship that has seen joy and appreciation - truly, a fine piece in overcoming codependent tendencies.
In this episode, Corey and I discuss the hallmarks of codependent patterns and behaviors in relationships and the tools a person needs to break them. We discuss how childhood upbringing and family dynamics can inform codependent behavior later in life and illustrate how friendships can support the healing of codependent relationships. We highlight the role of education in raising awareness of codependent patterns as well as overcoming them. We also underscore the power of the breath in realizing, managing, and healing codependent behavior and explain how meditative practices can help us self-soothe difficult emotions.
“The antidote is loving oneself, self-respect, and self-awareness.” - Corey Costanzo
This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:
- The signs of codependency and how people develop them
- Codependency as a learned behavior and how it shows up in families struggling with addiction and long-term illnesses
- How codependency lives in the subconscious patterns of a family system
- The role of awareness in overcoming codependency
- The characteristics of people with codependency issues
- The difficulty of codependent people going through relational conflict
- Why education is an essential piece in overcoming codependent patterns
- Cultivating a sense of self and its power in overcoming codependency
- The fear of being independent in relationships and what we lose from becoming codependent
- The importance of aligning with your personal values and building self-worth
- Putting up boundaries to break codependent patterns
- What ruminating is and how negative emotions can impact physical health
- Meditating with difficult emotions and other methods to manage negative feelings
- The power of the breath in regulating emotions and gaining awareness of codependent patterns
- How utilizing the breath gives you the agency to speak your truth
- Attraction to the “bad boy” type and picking people as projects to fix
- Why people stay in codependent and emotionally abusive relationships
- How codependency can be a spiritual issue
- Bringing awareness to the potential of love and compassion to heal
Resources Mentioned:
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
- Al-Anon Family Groups
- Headspace
Related Content:
- Codependency
- People-Pleasing
- Expressing Needs
- Do the Right Thing
- Emotional Regulation
- Is Stress Affecting Your Relationship?
- The Importance of a Personal Practice
- Addictions and Their Effects on Relationships
- Sound and Attunement Healing in Relationships
Connect with Corey Costanzo:
- Still Point Wellness
- Still Point Wellness on Facebook
- Still Point Wellness on Pinterest
- Still Point Wellness on Instagram
- Corey Costanzo on LinkedIn
Let’s Talk About It!
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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk